Uno with the Bat Brothers
by x Bout as Stable as the Wind x
Summary: BASED ON A TRUE STORY. Bat brothers Jason (Red Hood), Dick (Nightwing), Tim (Red Robin), and Damian (Robin) all play the card game Uno. Good luck. Uno rules included. [One-shot; Read to also see the Author's Note on my new Batman/Dark Knight crossover]


_**A/N: Ok, this is a really quick, crack oneshot, BASED ON A TRUE STORY! Seriously, almost everything you read below is word-for-word what happened last night when I played Uno with my siblings! It was too funny, I had to write it down!**_

_**Some of the stuff is paraphrased to fit the character's personalities, but yeah, this really happened!**_

* * *

**UNO!**

* * *

Rules of Uno (only read if you've never played the game):

0-7 Uno: When a 0 is thrown out, players all switch card according to which direction play is commencing. When a seven is thrown out, person who threw card out may choose to swap with another player's cards.

Uno: Cards must be stacked according to color or number. When only one card is left for a player, they must shout "Uno" or pick up two more cards. 'Reverse' cards mean the direction of play is switched, for instance, if it is going clockwise and a reverse it thrown, the patterns switches to counter-clockwise. If a 'skip' card is thrown, the next person must skip their turn.

Take +2 or +4 cards means that the person next to you must take up four more cards from the deck. However, when a take +4 card is dealt, the other person may 'challenge' the player: meaning, if he guesses to for the dealer to have a certain color in their hand, _that_ person must take the four cards instead of the victim. Challenge color must be given according to the card beneath the +4.

* * *

Richard (Dick) Grayson: 19-years-old

Jason Todd: 18-years-old

Timothy (Tim) Drake: 15-years-old

Damian Wayne (demon spawn): 11-years-old

**Everyone**: *sits down on bed*

**Dick: ***begins shuffling cards* "Alright, so here's how we play…"

**Damian: **"I wager five bucks!"

**Dick: **"This isn't poker."

**Jason: **"I'll raise you ten!"

**Dick: **"This isn't poker!"

**Tim: **"Can we make this poker?"

**Dick: **"No! We're playing a family friendly game."

**Tim: **"And so you chose Uno? I don't even know how to play Uno!"

**Dick: **"It's easy, I'll explain…"

**Jason: **"I'm bored."

**Damian: **"Yeah, let's play poker."

**Jason and Tim: **"Yeah!"

**Dick: **"WE'RE NOT PLAYING POKER!"

**Damian: ***mutters "Party pooper"*

**Dick: **"Alright, so let me explain the rules: I'll flip a card in the deck, and then we have to stack the cards according to either color or number. I'll go first."

**Damian: **"Why would you go first?"

**Tim: **"Yeah, shouldn't we vote or play rock-paper-scissors or something?"

**Jason: **"I say we play poker to find out."

**Dick: **"_NO POKER_!"

**Tim: **"Well, maybe Dick going first makes sense, since he knows how to play."

**Jason: **"Golden Boy gets everything. Big surprise."

**Dick: **"Do _you_ want to go first?"

**Jason: **"Yeah, when hell freezes over. I'm outta here."

**Dick: **"We haven't even started playing yet!"

**Jason: **"My point exactly! We're gonna be here forever."

**Tim: ***sighing* "Sit down, Jason."

**Damian: **"All you imbeciles shut up and deal the stupid cards, Grayson."

**Dick: ***begins handing out cards*

**Jason: ***jumps to his feet* "Hey! Why did you give Tim the first card?!"

**Dick: **"I'm just handing them out…"

**Jason: **"Oh, I see how this works! Give Princess Timmy all the good ones, right!"

**Dick: **"I shuffled them!"

**Jason: **"So you say!"

**Tim: **"Actually, I saw him shuffling them…"

**Jason: **"I see how it is! A conspiracy! You stick me with the demon spawn, while Princess Timmy and Golden Boy team up and humiliate Jason, the bad boy. Well, IT'S NOT GONNA WORK!"

**Dick: ***shakes his head* "Just sit down."

**Jason: ***sits back down, still grumbling*

**Dick: ***finishes dealing out the cards, ignoring Jason's glare* "Alright, are we all set?"

**Jason: **"Let me guess, you're still going first."

**Dick: **"I thought we went over this."

**Jason: **"I hate you."

**Dick: **"Yeah, I got that. Does anyone else want to go first?"

***no one answers***

**Dick: **"Fine. Then I'm flipping over this card… it's a blue five. I'm putting down a blue three. Tim, your turn…"

**Jason: **"SEE! FAVORITISM!"

**Dick: **"…I mean JASON! _Jason_ goes next."

**Jason: ***throws out a green two.*

**Damian: **"Moron, you can't throw that out."

**Jason: **"Why not?"

**Dick: **"It doesn't match. Weren't you listening to the rules?"

**Jason: **"Rules were made to be broken."

**Tim: **"The rules say that you can't only stack the cards when they…"

**Jason: **"Ooh, look at Mr. Know-it-All. Shut up, Replacement!"

**Dick: **"Jason, just throw out a different card!"

**FIVE MINUTES LATER**

**Dick: ***throws out a yellow 'Skip' card*

**Jason: **"You're all doing this on purpose! This is the eighth time I've been skipped!"

**Tim: ***hides a smile* "I don't know what you're talking about." *throws out a yellow three*

**Damian: ***throws out a yellow zero* "Take that you idiots. Everyone switch! Let mayhem rule!*

**Jason: **"I'd rather face daddy Bat when he comes home with Alfred than give my cards to Princess…"

**Dick: **"Jay!"

**Jason: **"Fine."

***everyone switches cards***

**Damian: **"Drake, what is with your cards?"

**Tim:** "That's why I didn't want to give them up. I just finished organizing them."

**Damian: ***mutters "Freak"*

**Tim: ***rolls eyes* "Says the kid raised by a family of assassins."

**Dick: ***throws out a yellow reverse card*

**Jason: **"I'm gonna KILL you, _dick_!"

**Dick: ***throws hands up in surrender* "Honest, Jay, that was the only card I could play."

**Jason: **"I hate you all!"

**Damian: ***throws out a yellow two*

**Tim: ***throws out a yellow seven*

**Dick: **"Alright, Timmy! Chose to switch with another person's cards."

**Tim: ***frowns* "I want… my organized cards back!" *rips them from Damian's hands* "Dude, you messed them all up! And _spit_ on them!"

**Damian: ***smiles* "I am happy to admit to such a thing if it will bring more of that ridiculous eye boggling to your face."

**Jason: **"Finally, my turn!" *examines cards* "Shit! Why don't I ever have any yellow?"

**Dick: **"Maybe you're like Green Lantern?"

_(A/N: Green Lantern's ring does not work in the presence of the color yellow)_

**Jason: ***growls and picks a card of the deck* "Aw, come on!" *it's a blue three*

**TEN MINUTES LATER**

***only four more cards in the deck***

**Jason: **"Damn it!"

**Dick: ***laughing* "Jay, this game would've been over already if you didn't keep forgetting to say Uno."

**Jason: **"You keep distracting me!"

**Tim: ***chuckling* "Dude, it says Uno on the back of every single card. How could you forget?"

**Jason: **"Shut. Up!"

**Damian: ***throws down a wild card* "Okay, I chose the color…"

**Jason: **"If you chose yellow, I swear, something 'yellow' is appearing in your bed tonight."

**Tim: **"Wow, that was just low, Jason, really…"

**Damian: **"…yellow."

**Jason: **"You're dead, demon spawn!"

**Dick: **"Relax, Jay." *throws out a yellow skip*

**Jason: ***bat-glare*

**TWO MINUTES LATER**

**Tim: ***throws out a +4 card*

**Jason: **"Don't you dare say you're changing the color to yellow."

**Damian: **"I'm challenging, Drake!"

**Tim: ***frowns*

**Damian: **"You have a red."

**Jason: **"I mean it, Replacement. No yellow."

**Tim: ***sighs* "Damn, the demon child was right."

**Dick: ***hands Tim the last four cards*

**Jason: ***manages to see what the cards are* "_SHIT_!"

**Tim: ***looks at cards and laughs* "Wow. They're all yellow!"

**Dick: **"Tim, what color are you choosing?"

**Jason: **"What color do you THINK he's choosing?!"

**Tim: ***laughing* "Yellow."

**Damian: ***starts sifting through his cards*

**Dick: ***looks at him and laughs* "Dami, you've got, like, the entire deck in your handful!"

**Damian: **"I know that, Grayson." *angry glare*

**Tim: ***chuckles* "Oh my gosh, you have almost all the yellows!"

**Jason: **"Somebody dies tonight, I swear!"

**Damian: ***throws out a yellow five*

**Dick: ***throws out a red five* "There, Jay, I changed it for you."

**Jason: ***glares*

**Tim: ***raises eyebrow* "Let me guess: you don't have any reds either. What _do_ you have?"

**Jason: **"Shut up!"

**Dick: **"Well, since there's no more cards to pick up, I guess Jason will have to skip."

**THREE MINUTES LATER**

**Tim: **"Wow, Jason."

**Jason: ***collapses on bed's headboard* "This is the seventh time I've skipped my turn!"

**Damian: ***smiles curtly as he throws out a card*

**Dick: **"Jason, if you keep rocking the bed, Uno will become Fifty-Two Pick Up."

**Jason: ***glares* "Shut up."

**Tim: **"Uno!"

**Dick: **"Haha, too late, Timmy!" *throws out last two cards* "I win!"

**Jason: ***throws his cards across the room* "Gee, what I surprise."

**Damian: ***scowls* "We should've played poker."

**Jason: **"Definitely."

**Tim: **"Hey, it wasn't _that_ bad."

**Dick: **"Exactly. So who wants to play again?"

**Jason: **"No!"

**Tim: **"C'mon, Jason. This will be your chance to get back at Dick."

**Jason: **… "Fine."

**Dick: ***deals out cards, starting with Jason* "Damian can go first." *ignores Jason's growl* "What? Now you can watch and be prepared!"

**Damian: ***throws out a yellow five*

**Dick: ***throws out a yellow two*

**Jason: **"_WHY DO I STILL HAVE NO YELLOWS?!_"

*end*

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE CONCERNING DARK KNIGHT/BATMAN CROSSOVER**

**_Alright, I'm planning a Dark Knight Trilogy/Batman crossover - informing you guy for 2 reasons. 1: Crossovers don't get many views. 2: I need help with the initial plot._**

**_So, the story is going to take off three months after the Dark Knight Rises; and ignoring the new Superman vs. Batman movie coming out next year. I've worked out how to include character John Blake, Bruce Wayne, and TADA! Richard Grayson! And it's a pretty good plot, really! The part I need help with is I need a villain group or a crime plot so bad that Bruce needs to hire Blake and Grayson to help him. I'm not too good devising villainous propaganda, so if you want to help, leave a GUEST review with your ideas and our username (if you have an account here). Purpose for the GUEST REVIEW is so the plotline, if I use it, is not spoiled for the readers. _**

**_Ok, that's about it. Thx for reading :)_**


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